Here it goes...

I feel a little awkward writing a blog, but people have been asking me about life in China, and it just seems more practical to point people to one place.

Crazy but true I jumped on a plane headed for China with 3 little boys (5,3, and 1) to spend a year abroad perfecting their Mandarin. I never realized that so many people would have passionate opinions about it. Much to my surprise my in laws thought it was a great idea.....hmmmm.....I am sure it is because they value international experiences! Most other people thought I was crazy (and told me as much) - I think I heard everything from "I could never do THAT to MY family", a cheap shot on being a "Tiger" mom, or that I was some kind of conspiracy theorist...which might be true, but that is a whole different blog. Others acted as if I was turning my back on my country. A small minority of people were supportive of the idea.

WHY DID WE CHOOSE TO GO, AND WHY NOW?
This is a journey that is still unfolding. It began about 2 years ago when we decided to teach Gavin and Sam Mandarin. When we moved to LA we enrolled Gavin in a pre K program where there were students from all over the world. He went to after school Chinese classes with children from China. We did cultural and language exchanges with visiting scholars and their families, and we had several Chinese babysitters. Ultimately I felt that the boy's Mandarin was getting worse, not better after our move to Los Angeles. It was getting tougher to get them to speak Mandarin at all. Also, Gavin is in Kindergarten this year, and he isn't missing much. In China 1st grade is when things really get intense, and I didn't want to subject Gavin to that - especially if he didn't have a solid foundation in the language. So really it was now or never for us.

HOW WE PREPARED:
Looking back I do not think this trip would be possible without the 2 years of preparation, and getting to know many people who are from China. Chinese people have their own way of doing just about everything: schools, housing, utilities, visas, etc. For example, China has had its own baby boom (either that or the growth of the middle class has but a strain on quality services) - schools are full, and parents are on waiting lists for years to get their kids into the right school. The good local schools require that you own property within the area and have it as your official residence for 3-5 years before you can apply for a spot. Others schools admit you based on your father/mother working for a certain company or university. Many schools do not allow foreigners to attend. The international schools are very, very expensive - $20,000-$30,000 per year (that is not a typo). Even if you attend a private Chinese school fees are $700-$900 USD per month per child, and they want to meet you before they will accept you. We were able to navigate the system better because we had a lot of Chinese friends to help us. For example, one of our friend's got us into the school where her daughter has attended since they returned to China last winter. In addition to having friends we found a yahoo group of Expats living in Beijing that allowed us to join even though we hadn't arrived (Beijing Mamas). That has been a huge help also. Some employers or organizations put together welcome packets that explain how China works. Never say no to any information or connections in China - you need everything that you can to just get by with daily life.

Our Chinese friends were great for things like getting us into the right schools - the expats were great at things like Nanny agencies, which bottled water to drink, hiring drivers, information about visas, etc. Talking to anyone and everyone that I could was very helpful. Each person said something a little different than the person before, and it helped. One person talked about problems they have had with their children's teeth - so we knew to buy bottled mineral water instead of distilled. Another mom told me about how they do not have shower doors and that the floor gets all wet if you don't have a bathtub.

By the time I had arrived we had a ride from the airport, an apartment, food in the refrigerator, had a school, and a list of nannies to interview. It makes us sound amazing, but the reality was that when I arrived I had to accept that nothing was going to meet American standards, and I had to be okay with that. There are a 500 things I would have done differently had I been here myself. I am not sure if these things are even possible in China, but if they were I would have paid extra money for an apartment with a shower curtain/door (they just have a shower head in the corner of the bathroom and things get all wet). I would have hunted until I found the perfect 3 bedroom apartment. I would have found an apartment that doesn't let the sewer gases come up through the bathroom floor (you have to remember ever day to put water down that pipe to keep the gases out of your apartment). We have had to accept things the way they are because fixing them requires someone else to do a lot of work on your behalf....and Chinese people are so incredibly busy (more on that later).

OUR JOURNEY BEGINS:
We arrived at the airport. I was so proud of myself that I got everything to fit into the 6 allotted suitcases. We pulled up to curbside, and instead they ushered us inside because I was leaving on an international flight (first leg was domestic). $400 later in overweight baggage charges we were allowed to check our bags. I should have listened to my father in law and weighed the bags! I had no idea about the fees until after Tommy had paid them....that was some expensive peanut butter and chocolate chips.

We flew from SLC to Chicago, then to Beijing. Lucky, lucky me Tommy had a business trip to Chicago and was on our flight. Judging from that trip - I thought I was in for the nightmare plane ride of my life. 3 kids 5,3,1 1/2 on a plane with one parent for 14 hours to China. Right there is evidence that I am nuts. I bit the bullet to save vacation days for Tommy to visit. Before we boarded our flight to Beijing Tommy grabbed us some McDonalds. We boarded the plane with our last American meal in hand, and I was crying - a little out of sadness and the rushed good bye, and a lot because I was afraid of what the next 14 hours would bring.

During take off the boys were happy eating their burgers and fries. Next we put on their PJs, brushed teeth, and then I let them watch videos. They fell asleep. We flew almost directly over the north pole so it was light out almost the entire journey. That was a first for me, and I want to make the trip someday in a window seat! The boys woke up on and off throughout the night, and then for good about 3 hours outside of Beijing. I let Jack do laps inside the plane, we read books, and did some art projects. Then we landed. It was that easy. I couldn't believe it. I was so thankful.

In the airport we picked up our bags - headed through customs and met our driver waiting for us outside. My personal assistant had dropped keys off with him earlier. He works in the motor pool for the American Embassy - so we felt comfortable with that. That connection came from the Mormon church's welcome packet. The driver took us to our apartment. We arrived home at around 2 am in the morning.

Our apartment is in a very old part of town where all of the famous Chinese universities are located. "Old" doesn't equate to charming in China - and if I had been a place that looked this ghetto in the US I would have been scared for my life. The lights in the hallway are noise activated, but do not come on unless you stomp on the floor. There was a stench of stale cigarette smoke in the halls and the walls were so dirty.

I was thankful once inside our apartment the cigarette smell was gone. The walls inside the apartment are dirty, some of the furniture was so disgusting that you want to cry when you children touch it, and one of the 2 bathrooms is so smelly we can't use it....BUT when our Chinese friends come to visit we hear ooohs and aaahhhs about how lucky we are. With labor so cheap it makes you really wonder why things aren't taken care of better.....If you think that we got a bargain on our apartment - think again. We pay 7500 RMB for a 2 bedroom + the Chinese government charges sales taxes on rent of another 5-10% so our rent is about $1200 USD per month without utilities. We would have probably paid the same for the same quality apartment in Los Angeles.

To be continued....