Finding the right nanny

The Chinese word for nanny is "Ayi" which translates to "Aunt". To my knowledge there is no chinese word for nanny or babysitter. When I have heard Chinese people speak in Chinese about babysitters - they use the English word. Perhaps this is because most children are cared for by family members.

Ayis enjoy a terrible reputation in China. Many of my Chinese friends have warned me that an Ayi will be very nice to children when the parents are around, but abusive when the family has left, that they steal, etc. I am not sure why this is - resentment towards the upper class, poor education, no respect for the job, culture....who knows.

Playing with a child is not common even amongst parents and grandparents who are caring for their own child/grandchildren. I am not saying that they do not have their own ways of showing love for children, but it isn't as playful or imaginative as you see in other cultures. To properly care for a child Chinese people make sure noses are wiped, that children do not injure themselves, and that they are bundled up. We had a temporary Ayi when we first arrived and she would stand over our shoulder while we ate with a broom/dustpan and sweep up crumbs as they dropped on the floor. When the boys tried to touch her to be friendly and playful she would swat their hands away. Personally, I feel like doing that too - so I can empathize, but it probably wasn't a good fit us.

I have been surprised at how much people who care for children are looked down on in Chinese culture. Virtually all of the Ayis that work in Beijing are from rural villages who are working in Beijing illegally. They work 6 days a week; 10-12 hours a day and make about 3,000 RMB per month ($500 USD). Now I know what you are thinking, but to put this into perspective teachers make 2,500-3,200 per month. PHD's working in industry make about 5,000 RMB per month ($850 USD). So other than public perception being an Ayi is a good living. If you are a teacher that has scrapped her career for a job as an Ayi your salary is 4,000 RMB per month working for a Chinese family probably 5,000+ for a foreign family.

Finding an Ayi has been an interesting experience. There are not many foreigners that live in my part of town so I have had to use local Chinese Ayi agencies to find employees. You go to an agency and usually there is a room filled with 1-2 dozen Ayis who are sometimes living at the agency until they are able to find work (1-3 months). Some agencies do a great job of screening and training the applicants, and the agency's facilities are clean. In other agencies you get the sense that people are shipped in large quantities and treated more like cattle than people. The feeling in those agencies was very depressing. Regardless of which agency you go with - your fees for both their services and the Ayis services are the same.

As you are interviewing Ayis you get questions/comments like:

- When the baby naps, I expect to nap.
- It takes me an hour to get to your house so I expect to leave at 5 pm.
- If I am taking care of your child, I cannot be expected to clean or cook.
- Do you want me to be in the room and watch the baby while he sleeps?
- They want to know very early on in the conversation how much you are going to pay them and what their hours will be. They were not shy about asking for more money or shorter hours.

We ended up hiring an Ayi for an agency that screened their applicants and found us a good match....or so we think/hope. She knows how to play with the boys and they all like her. I knew she was the Ayi for us when I got to the park last Saturday. It was 60 degrees out, all of the boys had their jackets, socks and shoes off and they were playing in the mud.

We signed a contract with the agency tonight. I am a little bit of a commitment phob - so we'll see how we do going forward. If she continues to do well or if she now slacks off. The next steps are to give the Ayi a health exam to make sure she isn't carrying any diseases (TB, AIDS, etc.), and to have her photo taken so that I can get her an ID card so that she can pick up the children from school if needed. I have also been warned to have the health of the Ayi reevaluated if she leaves Beijing to visit family.